Me, Myself and I

Written by David from the forum. Really touching post. Wished that I had been the one who wrote it. But anyway, he had exactly all I have on my mind written down (or rather, typed out) beautifully. Here goes, exactly as it is, though I omitted the last line.

How can I put into words what my heart is feeling? How can I say goodbye to something I never intended to say goodbye to? This thread is very personal to me because it's not only about me


...it is for me.


I try to write from my heart and those who have followed my writings know that I try to encourage, motivate and help those who can't find the ability within themselves to do so; at least not yet.


Saying goodbye to someone you love is hard enough, but to mean it from your heart, your inner-self, is devistating. The bonds we create with those who we learn to love are created solely by ourselves. To give love means we expect that loved returned without question or obligation. When the bond that held you together is severed, it hurts. In time we all heal but the scars still remain. The memories of what "once was" still hang in our minds and will be revisited every so often if we choose to do so.

Why do we want to revisit something that wasn't meant to be? Because our hearts want us to see that love does exsist. Love is the element of all that is and ever will be. You can't see it, you can't taste it, you can't touch it but we know it's there. To give someone the honor, the benefit of saying "I love you"...and have them refuse it or even not reciprocate leaves our minds to do one of two things.

1. We try harder.
2. We let go.


When is it easier to do either? It depends on our frame of mind as well as the actions that were put into the "bond" (love) you both shared. We do not think with our hearts. When love is taken away or refused, we look inward for a solution. Sadly we look and look and when we find the "nothing" inside..we tend to turn nothing into something so we can have SOMETHING to justify. If you are reading this, you know exactly what I mean. We look for solutions and answers to questions that there are no answers. The word "WHY" can only be used so much until we learn to reason with ourselves and start thinking "why I am I worried about this?"


To let go of love it not easy. Within the walls of this forum, my writings are filled with hope and inspiration but I would never want to give the impression that it is a simple task but I will say it can be done.


Where is all of this coming from? Not only do I post and contribute to this forum, I am an example just like you. The person I thought was my partner is gone. She tried to hide the fact she was in love with someone else and truth came out. What else is there to say. Am I upset? Am I down? Will she come back? My reply is simple.


"I only matter". What she does is NOT my business. If you take one away from two...you have one. I am me. I will not only give advice on this forum, I will TAKE my own advice. I don't want her back. In all honesty, I look at this as a blessing in disguise. I am man enough to let go and I want her to be happier than she has ever been but I will not be the fool she intended me to be. I will not look back at our time together and say what could have been, I will do my best to keep my eyes and thoughts forward. I will miss her but I will not miss the all of the negativity she brought to my life.


My actions with with my ex are plain and simple. I tried to create love out of something that never was. Love is created by more than one person. Not one. I am not upset but I would be lying to say I was not disappointed. Is my heart broken? No. Not in the least. I say that with an open mind and sound heart because I am better than that. Words are just words unless you put action into it. I have allowed my life to be on hold long enough. I did it for someone else whom I thought was my best friends and was betrayed because of it. I refuse to say anything negitive about her. It would serve no purpose and I am an example of someone that can walk away with my head held high and my heart in tact.


My nights will not be filled with sadness. You can't miss what you never had. You can long for soemone who was never yours to begin with. Do not tell me "I am sorry Dave" because there is nothing to be sorry about. I have always known that we didn't fit but I tried so hard to fit a square where a circle should be. There is no one to blame and the answer I will give you all is simple.

It wasn't meant to be...


I will not lose a day of being me. I have a smile on my face. I shared a joke with co-workers and I look forward to what lies ahead. Life is too short to love those who are incapable of loving themselves or others. My life is not an excuse to say how bad things turned out. It's what you make of your time while you are here on earth that matters. Do what you can to make your hopes and dreams come true. No one is stopping you BUT you. Let go of all negative thoughts. You are an individual that until someone EARNS the right to love you...let them love you but by continuously showing you...not telling you.


I am an example of a man that can walk away and and say "Well..that was that". Do not feel sadness for me because there isn't any here. My heart is mine. I do with it what I want to do. There are no hard feelings or regret. I am blessed to know the truth and I am honored to share it with you.


I am David...I always will be.